It's Your Turn

It's your turn to live the life you have always wanted to live.  It's time for you to find joy, peace, love and live a life of abundance.  So, what is it that stops you from doing that?

Are there past hurts that you are still holding onto?  Now is the time to let those hurts go, now is the time to forgive yourself and to forgive all of those who have done you wrong. 

Because once we can say that we have forgiven the people in our lives who have done us wrong, because often they don't know better, when we forgive ourselves for doing wrong, then we can move into the sun and see what great things life has in store for us.

Believe in yourself.  Believe in what you have achieved in life.  Believe like you have never believed before that your life can be one filled with true happiness.  We all deserve that out of our time here on earth. 

Life is short and holding onto hurts of the past, things that were said in haste, situations that came your way that were not easy leaves us drained and not able to see the good in life. 

So if you can leave the past behind, remove toxic people from your life, embrace whatever is good in each and every day, then you are well on your way to having it be your turn, your time, your life the way you want to live it.

'Tis the Season

I love the Christmas Season.   I love everything about it. To me, the Christmas season is what life should be year round.  It's when old friends and new friends get together to enjoy each others company.  It's when people do special things for each other.  The Christmas season is the time for going to the Symphony, plays, Christmas parties and fundraisers.  It's a time for woship, whatever that looks like for you.  It's my time to bake sweet treats for my friends and family.  I don't have the same kitchen that I used to, but what does that matter.  My hands will still create things with love.  This time of year reminds me of the time I spent in Europe as a child.  I loved it because the sights, sounds, smells and tastes are still with me in my memory today.  I remember when the snow would come down soflty on the cobblestone roads, old lanterns lit up in the streets.  I remember when I would smell all of the great baking and cooking as I would walk around my neighbourhood, wherever I was at the time.  I remember get togethers, where we would sit and share baking, very good coffee, and have the candles lit on the advent wreath.  I remember Christmas music.  I remember love and laughter at this time of the year.This time of year is about candles, fireplaces, decorations and while the weather can be cold and miserable outside, I sometimes rejoice in those days, because those are the times we can relax and reflect on what our lives have brought us.   It's almost like we need Christmas to remind us that we are all connected and that we all need love.   It' like we need a reminder of how it all began.  We need to remember that while Christmas is love, love should reside in us year round.  People hug each other more at this time of year.   They treat each other with more respect, they reach out more to others who are in need.  Have you noticed?  Are you a part of the giving season?

Christmas should not be about how much money you spend on someone, or how big the gift should be or how many gifts you give.  I love giving, but for me, giving of myself is the best gift I can give someone.  Giving material things used to be what I thought would make people happy, but I think that being there, listening, loving, hugging and reaching out to my fellow man is an even bigger gift.  So, reach out to those who need you and reach out to those who don't need you.  We all need each other, especially at this time of year.  Enjoy the season.  It's all about love.

Connection

When you have a deep connection with someone, and a strong desire to be with them, then you need to ask for what you want out of the relationship.  Whether you live far away from each other or around the corner, it doesn't matter.  Life does not give us those connections every day, it is so important to recognize that and so it is important to make sure that you ask for what you want. History does not need to repeat itself.  Rewrite history and make a future. 

When I was in my 20s, 30, and 40s, I could not and would not ask for things that were important to me.  I was too shy and I was too afraid of what the outcome might be if I asked for something that I desired or that I wanted.   I believe in flow, but I also believe in letting others know what your needs are.  Now that I am in my 50's I have seen some of life, and while I may still feel shy about asking for what I need and want, I know that life is short and that I want to be able to do as much as I can for others and for me at the same time. I know now that when it's real, it's real nd you shouldn't let something like shyness, or distance, or whatever else stop you from asking for what you want.  I think it is better to ask than to let things slip away, and to have given up something that could be great.

Recently, I was working with one of my young clients who has become a friend to me.  She was very concerned about talking to her boyfriend about an issue that had come up for her.  I was lucky enough to help her to understand that walking into the fear, taking control of your life and going for something that might actually be the best thing that has ever happened to you is worth the risk.  When we fear the outcome of something it can paralyze us to the point where we loose all feeling in our hearts.  And at the end of the day we are asking ourselves what happened?  Where did the time go?  We then live with
regret for decisions that we have made in the past and things that we are now missing because we didnt go for it when it was there right in front of us waiting.  So ask for what you want in life.  Let the chips fall where they may, but ask. 

I recently worked with a friend on family issues and what to do with a family that has really drifted away from each other.  Ask for what you want.  Ask because you deserve to have what you want in your life. 

There are many things in life that you could have wished might be different, but today is a new day.  Ask for what you want,for what you need and feel how empowering and wonderful that feels.  No matter what the outcome, be ok with you and proud of being brave enough to ask.

Because if you don't go for what you want in your life, you may never have what you wish for.  The past is the past, today does not have to repeat history.  Today is a new day, and each day I am a new person.  I am proud to ask for what I want because I deserve it.  And so do you.

Back to Basics

I lived in Europe  as a small child and I can still remember the sights, sounds and smells and tastes of the towns I lived in. Is there a smell in your memory that is just so wonderful and when you smell it now you just have to stop for a second so that you can smile at the memory of what it meant for you in the past?  Do you remember when we didn't have cell phones, computers, or even portable phones?  When you had to be attached to the end of a phone that was plugged into the wall?  If you wanted to have a conversation with someone, you would actually have to sit where the phone was and talk there.  Do you remember having to physically write a letter, go to the post office get a stamp and then mail it?  There is something to be said for these traditions and rituals.  I love technology, and I use it every day, but sometimes just sometimes, I miss the way things were in simpler times.  One of the things I love best is to make a meal for my family and friends.  I make everything from scratch.  Partly because I like to know what is going into my food, but also, I have discovered, it's about being in the moment, the moment that allows me to create something for my loved ones with my own two hands, to take the time to put loving energy into what I am making.  Food is love too.  Is there a childhood food that you love and look forward to having again and again? Is there a special holiday treat that you look forward to every year?
What about the sounds around you? When you were younger were there sounds of music, laughter, and joy around you?  What about a nice walk in the country?   I am lucky enough to live near the ocean these days, and walk by the water frequently, but when you live in the city, with all of it's concrete, sometimes it's hard to take yourself out into the country breathe fresh air and just be in the beauty that surrounds you.  I think it's so important to be able to get out of your environment and just go somewhere that makes you be still and take a breath.  We live in a fast paced society, everything is instantly at our fingertips and we are constantly bombarded with the bad news of the world.  Lets get back to basics, find someplace and find some time that makes your heart sing just for a bit. 

So remind yourself of the things you loved when you were a child.  Even if your childhood was not a good one, there is probably something that you remember with great fondness.  Lets get back to the basics, treat yourself to something lovely from your childhood.  It will put a smile on your face.

On your last day

If you left this world today, would you be happy with how you were leaving it? Would you be happy with who you were on earth? Would you be happy with the way you treated others? Would you have done all You could to make this world a better place? Something to think about isn't it? 

I know that we all get caught up in our own stuff, our own story, but I really believe that we are so connected.  We are all here to learn the lsame esson.  Its the lesson of love.  To learn to love those who are not loveable, to love those who make our heart sing and to love those who need to be loved.

There are many kinds of love, but at the end of your last day, will you have reached out and loved as many people as you could?   What is the lesson of love?  For many people, life has thrown them so much that they have forgotten how to love.  They have a heart that is not able to open up to love others or to accept love. 

When my last day comes, I want to be able to say that I was there for anyone who needed an ear, there for anyone who wanted to learn how to love again, there for those who are less fortunate, there for those wo have not experienced love in their lives, there to help people realize they are good enough, they are loved, they are worthy. 

On my last day, I would hope that I have connected with as many people as I can, and I hope that my message of love has reached people all over the world.  It doesn't have to be that big for you, it just needs to be everyone who touches your life.  And then when you give love to someone, it creates a ripple effect because they will send love to someone, and so on.

So today, take stock of who you are.  You are love whether you know it or not.  You were created to make this world a better place in whatever way that works for you.  It is always possible to start at the beginning.  If you don't think you know how to reach out and love people, start with random acts of kindness.  That alone is an act of love.  Be in service to others, it will  make your love grow.

Love yourself, for you are worthy, you are a part of me and I am a part of you.  We are all connected.

Hugs

HUGS

In my whole entire life, I have always believed that people are all the same in many ways.  It doesn’t matter if you are homeless, if you are unemployed, if you are mentally ill, if you have had trauma in your life, if you are from “the wrong side of the tracks”, or if you are employed, wealthy or very well educated.   We all share the similar feelings about life.  We all love sunsets, sunrises, warm summer days, cozy fireplaces, shared experiences, good friends and hugs.  Hugs are so important.  I think hugging is one of the best things you can do for anyone.  The human touch is something that can’t be replaced by our instant society and the way we communicate today.  It is a form of communication that says, how are you, I care about you, I am reaching out to you.  I accept you.  I love you.  You are important.  I have always said that people need 7 hugs every day.    When I can’t actually be present with someone who needs hugs, I will often write a text or email that simply says “7 hugs”    

When you come into my life, you will be seen for whatever you bring.  There is always something good to discover about everyone.  Their life may be filled with drama, chaos, fears, abuse, loneliness, economic difficulty, or whatever their life story is.  The thing to remember is that they were born just like you and me, with hope for a future full of love and happiness..   Some may feel that they have been robbed of this, by their life experience. 

When you feel you have been denied a happy life, with love, friendship and kindness, find a safe place to express your feelings so that you can learn to let them go, heal and move on to a happier way of living.

The trick is that the people who need healing the most are often not ready for it or are afraid of it.  Be gentle and kind with them, love them, let them find their way.  Listen, don’t talk, they need to tell their story.  It is their journey, but it would really help to have someone by their side to guide them, support them and love them.  So whether someone looks happy, or sad, it doesn’t matter.  People are good at presenting a mask of happiness even when they are hurting.  Hug them, hug them all, and maybe you will make a difference, just cause you reached out and hugged someone today. 

What if....

What if?  What if you could forget about all of the things that have gone wrong in your life?  What if you could wipe the slate clean and start new?  What if you could stop worrying about what might or might not happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that?  And what if, just for once you could live in this moment and in this moment?  What if you could be present for all of what life has to offer you today, this minute?  It would be such a great gift to be able to do that.  Not only for you, but for your children, your loved ones, friends and the world at large.

So, let go of the past, you are not your history, you are not your circumstances.   The things that went wrong, the terrible childhood, or trauma that you had to endure were all there to give you a lesson to love, to tolerate and to accept the same in someone who is on a similar journey.   Let go of people who have hurt you, who have let go of you and who you have let go of.  Let go of the feelings that leave you insecure, fragile, negative, and unloved.  When we haven't learned the lesson, when we have been beaten down enough, then we can become lost.  But remember something, you are stronger than you think you are.  So look at yourself carefully, reflect on the past, and be amazed at what you have overcome and think of it this way, If I can get through that, I can get through anything.

Look in the mirror.  What do you see?  Do you see someone who is truly happy?  Or do you see someone who has worry lines on their face, or are you getting some wrinkles that you had not seen before?  Do you see someone who is depressed?  Fat? Or do you see someone who has earned every laugh line, every grey hair, and every wrinkle?  Look at yourself carefully.  The outer shell has absolutely nothing to do with what is inside you.  Inside of each of us, no matter how damaged, there is a heart.  You may think you have nothing left, no family, no friends, nothing to be proud of and nothing to look forward to.  But if you begin to be in service to others, you will be surprised at how fast your heart will start to sing.  Be there for others, reach out and help someone else up when they have fallen.  Be there to listen, wipe away the tears, and then watch the sun come out.  Be grateful that you have made it so far in life. When you think there is no one, look around, reach out, there is someone, there really is.  It just takes you.  It takes you to begin to trust, to begin to live life the way you are meant to live it.

Some have had to endure so much in their lives and yet they are able to live life to the fullest and let go of the past.  These people are the ones who know that life gives us what we bring to it.

If you bring worry, negativity, hatred, rage, and hold on to bad memories of the past, then you will keep collecting more of the same.

The saying goes that it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown.  If we could all just smile a little more, and help others to feel better then in turn we will feel better.

We are all here to love one another.  We must begin to be there for each other again. It has become a lost art.  So begin today, one small step at a time.  Reach out, help someone up, and you will see that the what ifs become something completely different.  Have a great day.